Friday, July 26, 2013

No Regrets

I was talking to a friend, today.  She said that she'd been a little down, because it was her mother's birthday, and her mother had been gone for 14 years.  My friend is a few years younger than I am.  Another friend lost her mother yesterday.  Another friend told me how she was sorry that she hadn't ever gotten to know her biological father before he died. Another friend lost her grandfather this week, who was really as close as a father to her.  You never know how much time you have with someone before they are gone.

A 20 year old young man lies in a hospital bed with head trauma after a motorcycle accident yesterday that nearly cost him his life.  A 12 year old boy is still mourning his father who died when he was four.  My own husband still misses his mother who passed away when he was 16. I have known parents who have lost children at a young age, and have lost children to miscarriage.    You never know how long you have.

Love Is Hard.

Relationships are precious.  When I'm at the end of my life, I can't imagine that I will really care how many books or clothes or chocolate chip cookies I have had, or how right I was.  (Yes, Hubby, I really said that!)  I think I will care how much I loved.  And how much I was loved in return.  At that moment, I can only imagine that all of the things I've worked for will fall away, and the only thing that will matter is that I have someone with me, holding my hand.  And hopefully it will be a loved one, and not a nurse who is paid to be there.

Our time on this earth is short.  And tomorrow is never promised.  I don't want to regret my life.  I don't want to look back and realize that everything I thought was important was really just a waste of time.  I don't want to reach out my hand only to find no one there to hold on to.

It is natural to want to leave something of ourselves behind when we go.  People have always tried to make their mark on the world.  I'm not likely to ever be famous.  I won't be in any encyclopedias.  Poems will not be penned in my honor.  But I will have a legacy.  I hope that legacy is that I loved.

When I was in school, our Sunday School class put on a play for youth Sunday.  It was a spoof on the Frankenstein story, with the monster giving the speech about love.  The speech was taken from 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

"Love does not give up.  
Love is kind.  
Love is not jealous.  
Love does not put itself up as being important.  
Love has no pride.  
Love does not do the wrong thing.  
Love never thinks of itself.  
Love does not get angry.  
Love does not remember the suffering that comes from being hurt by someone.  
Love is not happy with sin.  
Love is happy with the truth.  
Love takes everything that comes without giving up.  
Love believes all things.  
Love hopes for all things. 
 Love keeps on in all things." 
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New Life Version).

Love is hard.  Love cannot coexist with pride. Or the need to be right.  Or the need to have what you want.  Or the need to be safe or pain-free.

But in the end, it is all you have.  It is the only way to true life.

"Dear friends, let us love each other, because love comes from God.
Those who love are God's children and they know God.
Those who do not love do not know God because God is love.
God has shown His love to us by sending His only Son into the world.
God did this so we might have life through Christ.
This is love!"
(1 John 4:7-10, NLV)

"I give you a new Law.  
You are to love each other.  
You must love each other as I have loved you." 
(John 13:34, NLV)

Love is hard.  But it is worth it.  It is worth all of the pain, and the humility, and the selflessness.  It is the only thing that really matters.  No regrets.


  1. Ah, yes, in everything - Love. Speak with love, act with love, serve with love.
    Your opening paragraphs made me catch my breath. My mother died unexpectedly 9 years ago. I revisit these things you share with us in this post often. Thank you for the reminder!
    (stopping by from The Better Mom)

  2. Hello hsmominmo, and thank you for coming by, and for your kind comment. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. I know we don't ever forget, though the pain might dull a bit. Please feel free to stop by again :)


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