|I Just Wanted to Be Alone!|
Sometimes it's hard to find quiet time. Since I've become a mother, I've found that my time alone, to just sit and read a book or be alone with my thoughts, has dwindled down to almost nothing. I try to catch time when I can, but it is generally late at night when I am too tired to read much or think well. Lately I have been going to Bible Study on Wednesday nights. It has given me more time to focus on God, but it still isn't quiet or alone.
As I go through my days, I realize that I am functioning in crisis mode much of the time. Trying to get things done. Going from activity to activity. Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. Homeschool. Writing. Activities. Shopping. The list goes on and on, "To-do" items flying at me from every direction. I dodge a ball just to have it bounce off the wall and hit me in the back of the head. There has to be a better way!
Last night, our Pastor challenged us to spend an hour each day alone with God. Of course, I informed him that mothers did not have that luxury! He pointed out that Jesus found time when others were sleeping, going out early in the morning. My mind rebelled. I need my sleep! I don't get enough sleep as it is! I have too much to do!
This morning, Mike had to go to work earlier than he usually does on Thursdays. I was still in bed. However, the puppy had gotten up and was whining for attention. So I got up. I made coffee, and got dressed while it was brewing. The children were still sleeping. The puppy was fine as long as I was near her. I got my bible and a notebook. I started to pray. I asked God to be with me during the day, and to help me to get through it. He directed me to read Proverbs 31 (ick!). I copied verses 10-31 onto a piece of paper. There are a lot of directions in there. That woman's candle never went out, it says! Huh.
I have a long way to go. I haven't gotten any more done today than usual, but I have noticed how much time I am wasting. Of course, I still wasted it, but at least I noticed. And you know what? I'm not any more tired right now than I usually am when I sleep late. I actually did spend about an hour this morning before anyone got up.
No more excuses! Spending quiet time with God is not impossible. It is necessary. Having children and pets and a husband and a house and..and...and... can not keep me from spending time with my Savior. I'm going to set my alarm clock tomorrow, and try again!