Have you ever had "one of those days?" This was one. All of my great plans from yesterday went kaput. Mike had to go to work early this morning, and was running late, so he couldn't take the dog out before he went. I wasn't up yet, so he left her in the crate. By the time I got up and got to her, she had two huge piles of poop, and had saturated her bed with urine. She had also sat in the poop. So I washed the dog, washed the crate, and put the bed and towels in the washing machine. Then, Lily was up wanting her oatmeal, so I made that, and the kids and I started cleaning the house. We got the living room cleaned and part of the playroom, and it was time to go to homeschool co-op. On the way there, I noticed that the gas light was on in the van. Then, I heard a beep which I realized was my cell phone losing battery power. I shut the cell phone off, and prayed all the way to the gas station after co-op. We did get to the gas station, and just got to the bank in time to cash my paycheck so I can get some groceries this weekend. We went home, and got supper, and then Rory couldn't find his shirt for AWANA. We finally found it when I remembered I had a pile of clothes which needed to be put away on the cedar chest at the end of the bed. The whole thing makes me want to scream!
I'd like to blame a lot of things for creating this havoc, but I unfortunately have to take most of the credit, myself. I woke up when Mike was getting ready for work, but it was more comfortable to stay in bed, so I did. As a result, the puppy got worried about being left in her crate, and I fell back to sleep and slept too late. I missed my quiet time with God, because by the time I got myself together, everything was already in full swing. The house is a complete wreck because I have done a good job of ignoring it for the past week or so. Having everyone sick was part of the problem, but I could have done more to get things back in order when we started feeling better. If I had gotten gas yesterday when we were out, instead of waiting until today, we wouldn't have had that worry. If I had shut my cell off when I got home last time, it wouldn't have run down. I had managed to have Rory get his bag ready for AWANA this morning, but didn't think anything at all of his shirt. Said shirt should have been hung up in his closet, anyway, instead of on my chest! It would have been if I had put the laundry away, instead of piling it up all over the place.
I am so tired of living like this. The Proverbs 31 woman is hiding her eyes, I am sure! I know there has to be a better way. I don't think my family and I were created to live in chaos all of the time. I am praying that I find the way out of this mess, for me and my family. My husband was so happy to see the living room clean when he got home. I want to give that to him every day, not once in a while. It would be great if he was also greeted with a clean rest of the house! Even my clean desk is sporting a pile of papers.
I know that my heart has a part in all of this. As I was thinking of ways to fix my problem, I could feel my spirit fighting against my own ideas. It was like a physical pulling in my chest, with a voice in my head shouting "no!" like a two-year-old. I have to get into a routine. I don't know why this is such a hard thing for me, but I can feel myself rebelling against the very thought. I guess I have some soul-searching to do, here. There is that old saying "Where there's a will, there's a way." I'm afraid in this case, my will is getting IN the way. I am thinking of the words of Jesus, when he was asking if he could get out of going to the cross. He ended his plea with a resigned "not my will, by thine be done." This has to be my new prayer. I am certain that the disarray in my life is not from God, as he is the God of order, not confusion. The disorder and mess has to be coming from another source. One of my friends has a tag on her phone that says "let go n/ let God" whenever she sends a text. I have to remember this. Also, the words of Scarlett O'Hara - "Tomorrow is another day!"
So, tomorrow is Saturday. Baseball and piano lessons, then family night with pizza. Starting with quiet time! With God's help, I can.