And a time for every purpose under Heaven...
So says the song, and the chapter in Ecclesiastes. I am having a hard time remembering that when it says, for example, "A time to be born, and a time to die," it does not mean you have to do both at the same time. I have been struggling with so many things, lately, from how to find time to write, to how to keep my house clean, to how to teach my kids, to how to put in a zipper (but that's another story!). It seems as there is never enough time to do it all. If I write an article, it usually means that I have stayed up far too late, and/or neglected other things in my life. Actually, if I stay up too late, I neglect things the next day because I am too tired to do them! So, I'm having to learn about life's seasons, and I'm trying to decipher which season I am in, now.
As I look back, I realize that my life has been broken into sections, or seasons. I also realize that things have happened in just that order for a reason. I can see God's hand guiding me, and giving and withholding things as needed. At the time, this was frustrating. I especially think of the time it took us to have our two children. It seemed like we had to wait forever, wondering if we would ever conceive. But, as I think of other things that were going on at that time, I have to marvel at God's timing.
When we were trying to have Rory, I was working a somewhat physically demanding job which required driving all over the county and lugging musical instruments around, including a very heavy keyboard. This was a part-time music therapy position, which was combined with a part-time case manager position. I was also training for my black belt in Tae Kwon Do, after taking classes for ten years. I don't know why I thought this was the best time to be pregnant, but God obviously had better plans than I. First, the music therapy position was eliminated because of lack of funding. I was upset! How could they do that? But, it turned me into a full-time case manager, a much less strenuous job. Then, shortly after I earned my black belt, we found out we were expecting. I was able to keep attending TKD classes until I was about seven months along, and was still able to teach the "pee-wee" class, but was not worried about training hard, and was allowed to modify anything I had to because of my pregnancy. Did God know what he was doing? Of course! Looking back, I can see how everything fell into place so that Rory was born exactly when he should have been.
Fast forward a few years, and we were again trying to conceive. Just as we started, we had a major structural problem with our house, which necessitated months of repair and construction. I was getting so impatient that we didn't seem able to have another child! But, the major construction was finished just before Lily was born, giving us an extra room just when we needed it. I was able to give up my babysitting job, which was helping to pay for the work. Rory was finishing Pre-K then, and started kindergarten a few months later. As we got to the end of the first grading period, we realized that the local school was not working out for him. I found out that he wasn't required to attend kindergarten, so we pulled him out. That began our foray into homeschooling. If I hadn't had a small infant at that time, I probably would have gone back to work when he started school, and we would have had a hard time making a decision like that.
So, here I am, trying to fit too many things into too small a space again. (Okay, that's probably a metaphor born from sitting here at my messy desk, but it works!). My challenge, now, is to recognize which season I am in, and stop fretting about the other things. I have to remember that God knows my needs, and my family's needs, and even my friend's and acquaintance's needs, and He knows how they all fit together. I can only see my little slice of the pie, and I'm a bit puzzled about the filling at the moment. So, I'm reminding myself to give it to God, and let Him take care of piecing the puzzle together. I know that everything will get done in His time.