Educating the WholeHearted Child -- A Giveaway for the Best Book Ever!

In my search for educational philosophies, I have come across several books I am interested in reading.  One of them is Educating the WholeHearted Child by Clay and Sally Clarkson.  The problem was, the new edition was not published yet.  It promises to have much more than the last edition, so I wanted to wait until the new one came out.  Well, I just found out that it is out, and there is actually a giveaway!  So, if you're interested in the book, click on the name link to get to the giveaway.  They will be drawing names next week, so act quickly!  There are only 3 chances to win.

One of the reasons I am interested in this book, is because the Clarksons use a literature-based educational method, which I enjoy using, myself.  The real draw, though, is that they base their philosophy on the Bible.  I have read about them, and have read some of the articles they've written, and I am very excited to find out how to put it all together to teach my children as God wants them to be taught.  I have started using their book "Our 24 Family Ways" for our Family Bible Time, and it is working well, so far.

So, enjoy the giveaway, and good luck!

Marriage

Today is my husband's and my wedding anniversary.  Ironically, it is falling the day after New York State passed the same-sex marriage bill.  Marriage vows usually have a phrase something like "What God has joined together, let no man break asunder."  This is a comforting thought in a Christian marriage.  We have been married 17 years today, and have had our share of ups and downs.  Some of the trials we have been through should have destroyed our marriage.  I don't believe we would have survived if God had not joined us together and then held us together almost against our own wills.  But, because He was in it from the beginning, we have weathered the storms, and have prevailed against everything that life has thrown at us.  We are much closer, now, than we were on our wedding day.

I do not believe that God will be involved in the same-sex marriages that will be soon taking place in this state.  I am afraid that when the storms of life come to those couples, they will not have God holding them together.  He ordained marriage to be between a man and a woman, not two men or two women.  I hope, for the sake of those couples, that New York State is prepared to keep playing god, and will hold them together when the going gets tough.  Otherwise, this broken state is going to become more broken and fractured, as the courts have to deal with same-sex divorces.  God help us all.

Hiking Dover Stone Church, Dover Plains, New York

We decided to go hiking, today.  Mike had the idea of going for a picnic, so we tried to think of somewhere to go.  Who knew that there was a natural wonder less than a mile from our house?
We have seen this sign, before, and had heard about the Dover Stone Church, but none of us had ever been there.  So, we packed up some chicken sandwiches, and away we went.

As we left the sidewalk, we walked up a short driveway, and all of a sudden came upon this stairway, which descends to a path through a meadow.  At the end of the path is another, shorter stairway ascending to the woods.  We got to the edge of the woods, and had our picnic.

As we went through the woods, we came to a bridge across the Stone Church Brook.  We had a nice hike through the woods.  At first, it was a nice open path.  As we got deeper into the woods, we found ourselves stepping from rock to rock alongside a creek of tiny waterfalls. 

As we were watching our footing so carefully, it was a surprise when we finally came up on the Stone Church.

The closer we got, the more awesome it was.  The brook runs straight through it, and the floor is made up of water and stepping stones.

When we went back to the car, we looked up and saw this beautiful rainbow cloud!  What a beautiful day in God's amazing creation.

The Most Important Things to Teach

My grandmother always said that your education was the only thing no-one could take away from you.  She went through the Great Depression, and lost a father, brother, and several homes at a young age, and a husband and baby as she got older, so I think she knew what she was talking about.  My mother helped my sister and I get through college for basically the same reason.  You can lose any physical thing you can have, but you can't lose what you know.  My grandmother lost a lot of her mental abilities before she died, but I like to think she still had some of that knowledge that she treasured so much, even though she could no longer relate it.

As I consider what I need to teach my children, I believe I have narrowed it down to two important subjects.  The first subject is how to learn.  Our civilization is moving so fast, that the things that are important now are unlikely to be important when my children grow up.  Who would have thought when I was in elementary school in the 1970's that I would need to know how to use a personal computer?  Or a cell phone, microwave, or remote control?  On the other hand, who would have thought I would need to know how to take care of chickens?  These things were never part of my schooling.  I've learned them all since I became an adult.  So somewhere along the way, I was taught how to learn.  I was taught to read, to count, and to communicate so that I could ask for help when I needed it.  This last part includes writing, speaking, and listening.

The other subject, and probably the most important one of all, is to learn how to hear God's voice, and follow His lead.  The longer I live, the more I see patterns and paths in my life (hindsight, of course!)  When I follow God's leading in my life, I realize that I am prepared ahead of time for everything I need to do.  Sometimes I think I'm at a final point, but later realize that I was only in training for something better.  Writing for Suite101 seems to be one of these cases.  I have not made a lot of money on my articles there, but I learned a huge amount about publishing and writing in a short amount of time.  This knowledge has helped me modify the New York State curriculum I'm writing, making it a much better product.  I still don't know if this is the "end," but I can say that I gained more than money from my time at Suite.

So, I am now closer to a concrete educational philosophy.  At least I know what to teach.  Now if I can only figure out how!

Exploring

In this life, along with being pilgrims, we are explorers.  Aside from the assertion of Solomon that there is "nothing new under the sun," we are constantly discovering new things.  Human beings have a need for knowledge, and a need to see what's on the "other side of the fence."  Sometimes it's a search for greener pastures, but sometimes it's just plain curiosity.

I think God understood this trait of his created children.  As I read the Bible, I am amazed at how He brought us along, year after year, century after century, revealing things a little at a time.  It's almost like reading a mystery.  What will happen next?  Why was this law instated?  Why is one king raised up while another is defeated?  Why can we never get to the end of space?

As we read along, we find that many of the questions are answered in the Bible itself.  Many others have been answered by archaeology or science.  Writers and preachers have illuminated the Word for us, so that we are constantly seeing more of the picture.  And then you get to the end.

We are studying the book of Revelation now at our Church's Bible Study.  It's an extremely interesting, hard, and somewhat terrifying book to study.  But it's the last book, right?  So it tells the end of the story.  Hey!  What's this?  John is told to stop writing.  He's not allowed to write some of the things he sees.  What???!!  I've gone this far, and I can't know the end???!!

We really want to know the end.  We want to know the whole plan.  We want to have an itemized itinerary.  But God isn't like that.  He asks us to follow him without knowing where we're going.  He requires trust and faith.  He tells us that He knows the plans he has for us.  He tells us that no man knows when the end will come, but the Father.  So why do we have this urge to know?

I think God wants us to keep searching until we find Him.  He alone is the end of the story.  He calls himself the "Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End."  So, all of our wandering and exploring can only end when we truly find God.  I've heard it said that we are born with a "God-sized hole" in our hearts.  We can try to fill that hole up with everything and everyone in the world, but we will never truly be content until we fill it up with God.  It's kind of like trying to finish the Elmo puzzle with a piece from the kitty cat puzzle (sorry, I have a 3-year-old!).  It just won't fit, and it wouldn't look right if it did.  Our hearts would still be incomplete.

So, as you're going through life, whether you're wandering aimlessly, or striding with purpose, make sure that the road you're on is leading you to the right End.  Is the book you're reading, the show you're watching, even the job you're doing or the house you're cleaning one more paving stone toward God, or is it taking you down another path altogether?  Are the people and things in your life helping you onward, or holding you back?  I know it's hard when you can't see the next road sign, but we really have to make every step count.  It's like a flashlight in the dark.  It works best if you illuminate the path right in front of you, not something off in the distance.  Walk in faith, one step at a time.

Out of This World

Have you ever felt like you just didn't belong?  I think it happens to everyone, at least once.  For some of us, it happens in school; you're not in the "in" crowd.  For some, it happens as we get older, and find that we're not fitting in at our job, or with our in-laws, or with our neighbors.  Maybe we feel we don't fit in at our church.  Maybe we don't even seem to fit in our own families.

We were created to be with other people.  When God made Adam, he said it was not good that the man was alone, so he made a woman, Eve, to be his companion.  Adam said of Eve that she was "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh."  (Genesis 2:7-23).  How much closer can you get than that?  Adam and Eve also had a very close relationship with God.  God walked in the garden, and spoke directly to them.  When Satan convinced Eve to disobey God, and Eve included Adam in her sin, mankind was separated from God.

We are all still looking for that perfect relationship.  We know in our hearts that there is something more.  That we SHOULD belong.  The many religions of this world have been founded on this concept.  There are clubs and organizations for every conceivable cause.  People are quick to associate themselves with their country, family, or school.  People form cliques so that they can feel included.

Hebrews chapter 11 gives a list of people who lived by faith in God.  Verse 13 says "These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth."  So this is the problem.  We really don't belong.  This world is fallen, and out of the will of God.  People have been trying for all of time to get back to the paradise that was lost.   

The good news is, there is a way to get there.  In John 14:6, Jesus says "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."  Because he came, and because he died, he created a bridge for us to get to Heaven.  The secret is to find it.  All of the religions, cliques, clubs, and organizations in the world are only distractions from the path.  All of our causes and obsessions only act as barriers.  We carry our masses of possessions, those we have and those we wish we had, as weights that slow us down, or keep us from moving altogether.  We need to clear our minds, hearts, and lives of all of the junk, and focus on the cross, our bridge to paradise.

Family Bible Time - Take 2

Good morning, everyone!  I have found a great resource for family Bible time.  It is this book:  "Our 24 Family Ways" by Clay Clarkson.  I was so pleased when the book came to my door.  It includes a list of 24 biblical values which you can explore with the whole family.  Each "way" has been fleshed out with bible verses, conversation starters, and even coloring pages for the younger kids.  We have just started using the book, but as we read through all of the "ways," we were able to agree with all of them as a family.  I think this will be very helpful as we attempt to train our children to be followers of Christ.  If they can understand these 24 "ways," they will have a very good foundation of how to live as an effective Christian.  They will also be better able to get along with other people, and to simply get along in life!  Come to think of it, the parents will probably benefit in the same way!  I believe that this will help us to grow closer as a family...closer to each other, and closer to God.

My Poor Baby

We just found out yesterday that Lily has Lyme Disease.  She has been having fevers for the past few days, but didn't seem to have a cold or the flu or anything.  Then, we noticed a rash around her ear.  So, off to the doctor.  She now has 3 weeks of antibiotics to deal with.  Luckily, however, we seem to have caught it relatively early, so hopefully she will not have too many complications.  


This can be a very difficult disease to deal with.  I had it years ago, and it took a very long time for me to get better.  Please pray that it will be a short illness for Lily, and that she will be back to her own funny self soon!  Thanks so much!

Behaviorism, Humanism, and Original Sin

As a Music Therapy major in college, I had to take quite a few psychology courses.  Music can be used therapeutically in many different ways, but one important aspect is its effect on the brain, especially regarding emotions and behavior.  As a result of my studies, I have a large arsenal of methods to use in order to change someone's behavior.  In my former career, working with developmentally disabled adults, I learned to write and implement very useful, logical goals and objectives, gradually leading a person from inability to mastery.

Behaviorism taught me that behavior can be changed by manipulating the environment.  The famous experiments of  Ivan Pavlov and B.F.Skinner proved that animals (and, by association, people) reacted in different ways, depending on what happened before or afterward. Pavlov's famous dogs learned to salivate when they heard a ticking metronome, rather than when presented with food, simply by associating the metronome with food.  This was called "classical conditioning."  Skinner, on the other hand, coined the term "operant behavior," which proved that reinforcing behavior with a pleasurable response would make it more likely to happen again.

Humanism believes that everyone is working toward their best self, as long as their basic needs, according to Abraham Maslow's Heirarchy, are met.  It focuses on feelings and emotions.  This is where much of the current focus on self-esteem comes from.

It would seem, from using these two philosophies, that rewarding "good" behavior, and making children feel good about themselves, would produce perfect little angels, wouldn't it?  So, we spend a lot of time praising our children, telling them how beautiful, intelligent, strong, etc., etc., etc., they are.  We give them extra-special attention when they do something extra-good, like chewing with their mouth closed, and we gently remind them when they do something a little bad, such as slug their little sister, that that wasn't very nice.  After all, we want to reinforce good behavior, and not damage their self-esteem.  Of course, we should never spank them.  That might bruise their ego, and cause all sorts of psychoses (you thought I forgot about Freud, didn't you?)

And then you have an eight-year old.  I have spent the last while trying to undo some of the damage that these philosophies have wrought.  The problem is, that they have been so ingrained into my brain, that it is hard for me to see through the concepts to reality.  After so many years of learning and working in agencies for people with disabilities, I have some major unlearning to do.  I have to replace all of the political correctness with truth.

The thing that all of these philosophies are missing, is that people are born into sin.  I realize that this is not a popular concept.  We would like to think that we are all good.  After all, aren't babies just adorable?  How could something so precious be bad?  Well, just leave them alone for a little while, and you will find out how.  All of our inclinations are to do "what's best for me."  Unfortunately, where adults may realize that there are laws which preclude you from doing everything you want, children have no such concept.  Babies see something they want, and they grab it.  It doesn't matter if it's candy or poison or their sibling's hair.  They have no scruples.  This can't be "good!"  It's not even good for them!  They were given parents to protect them from dangers such as poison, stairs, and electric sockets.

What has happened to my eight-year-old, is that he has realized how bad he really is.  And, he's started to feel guilty.  We had a long talk last night, something we have done repeatedly since he was able to talk.  He was upset because, of all things, he hasn't gotten punished.  He poured his heart out, naming all of the things he has done that no-one knew about, from doing cartwheels on the couch, to hiding Legos under his sheets, to lying when asked how his little sister got hurt.  He was concerned that he should be getting a hard punishment for all of these things.  He even tried to punish himself, by poking himself in the stomach with something sharp.  This was pretty scary to me.  I'm not sure how he goes from being afraid of telling us because he doesn't want to be punished, to deciding he needs to be punished anyway and trying to do it himself, and I'm not sure how far he could have gone with this if it hadn't all come out.  I've gotten a whole new philosophy to consider, however.  And a whole new direction.  My son has been having emotional "meltdowns" for a while.  He has said how bad and worthless he thinks he is.  This should be a time for building his self-esteem, right?  Tell him how good he is at things.  Tell him how much we love him.  Give him an extra treat.  Tell him he's a good boy.  But that doesn't help.  The problem is, that he knows he's sinful.  He said that the sins build up like water balloons in his head, and when there are too many, they burst.  That's when he starts crying and carrying on.  He's afraid he will turn into a devil, and take other people down with him.

My heart is broken.  It feels like something is pressing on it, squeezing out all of the life.  I feel the water balloons popping in my own head.  I have failed to protect my son.  I have failed to keep the poison away from him.  This is going to require major surgery, and I have to start with myself.  I have to cut out the methods and philosophies of the world.  As useful as they may be with behavior and emotions, they are useless against sin.  I need a transfusion of God's word, and God's wisdom.  I need to lead my own life in a way that will protect him from the evils of this world.  I need to structure his life so that he feels safe, and then we will be able to work together with Jesus to change his heart. I really need to figure all of this out before my daughter joins him in this dark place.  Please pray for us all!